oh yeah Rain coming to singapore on 21/01/07 !
the cheapest ticket is $188 mummy sounded keen to sponsor me.
BUT HEY NO I WONT GO. Call me an inconsistent fan or so-you-must,
it's a waste of money the most I'll just go ahead with the aunties to wait for him at the airport but then again I'm not that crazy. AND im quite turned off by the amount of people learning korean and all the korean stuffies. ah man.
sigh which means i must be 1 out of the 193413051 people who's drooling over them and that kinda suck. okaye i think i'm laying off korean for awhile and stick to JESUS. so what if millions love him too , HE's my personal daddy.
okaye i need to practise abstinence from KDRAMA too. i'm getting addictied to love story at Harvard on youtube and my craze for GOONG havent ended yet. Oh JiHoon. i dont know if this is wierd but those shows actually motivated me to study! HAHAHA no joke.

It doesnt take a rocket scientist to know that i've been feeling @%&#! these days.
it's not that i want to ( no body wants to) nor is it that i've gotten into any unwanted trouble.
Maybe it's cause it's the time of the month again, maybe cause i've been such an airhead these days with nothing to do , maybe i've been over-relient on my own efforts thus causing me to dry up spiritually ( it sucks even more than anything else cause God is so good! yet i cant bring myself to believe enough to trust enough or to commit enough. it's me not God. he's perfect.He's GOD. ), maybe it's you and how much i've heard about you ( it's not as if i still feel the same way like before, it's just that even as a friend i feel disappointed and shocked. you were darn late for class today so much more getting sent out. what a suprise, an unwanted suprise. )
and well maybe it's cause my heartaches to see my parents working so hard to bring in bread for the family ( them saving up so much money for the three of us yet us or should i say myself take things forgranted and all those things that they've provided for me . My cambodia trip and church camp both overseas , they entrusting me with loadsa pocket money of which i spent relentlessly on cab fare. yes i do hear those " how can joan do that" and those " what a waste of money" . NOT forgetting my horrrid results. you'd never imagine how disappointed mummy looked and how daddy tried to pretend not to mind , what was my response then you ask? Short reticent replies thank you.So now you know im not that all nice-sweet and super-puffed joannie aye? haha i've even complaint bout my parents.Really for this i could die for but no, because of this i must live on cause i've got a long way to go to prove to my parents that i love and truly cherish them .)

That i learnt from daddy is True courage. By facing your probs Bravely and not slitting your risks when your so called " forebber boiifriiend" breaks up with you so what if i've gotten bad results now , i've got a whole lifetime to prove myself that i can do better. So what if your parents dont love you, there's a God who loves you ( one whom you refuse to acknowledge or refuse to get help from ) and there's people out there who do. Slitting your wrist and attempting suicide wont solve your problems. Get the point? Get help , he's always around/ it's always around. (:

Well i guess i'm finally out of that trance . Oh that's a great thing. Lord, i dont wanna go back yeah. haha i've shared much today , the post dint go like i planned but well it's still cool.

P.S. Mummy daddy , i love you.

if you've got the time ,Hillsong United -youth alive- deeply in love.
greeat song.

sometimes it's smart to be stupid,in that way you'll not be too smart to miss the GOOD that is right in front of you. (:

Faith 3/4 won the sec3 debate. :D
and congrats to Zann our best debator. hahah
great experience i would say.
sorry lin. i'll reply to all your msges. okaye?
had drill, hahha it's one helluva fun.
OKAYE IM GONE!

JEEEEEE,SUS! :D

dinner carousels , monkeys at the playground, painted hearts and casseroles.

Daddy daycare's so cute! :D

My friend, it makes a world of difference when you fight from victory and not for victory! go to click me and read it. it's good.

i don't know if it's the rain , haze or the late morning that made me feel all shitty inside. i hate it. i hate every inch of this.it's one of those days when you feel all lousy bout yourself and you just cant seem to kick it off.
i've got a bad habit of comparing myself with others and well all know that comparison's the killer. Sigh, i cant help it. so God help me ! sheeshemns
know, i'm beginning to feel better now. haha

i'm gonna practise hard on my drums cause i wanna serve in m.ministry next year!
WHOOO! so God help me and teach me. oh yeah.

debate tml on singlish.
-hope- we'll win (:

give me wings so i can fly and break free from the woes of this world.
And if it's strength i need, Give it. And if it's wisdom i need, Give it.
cause i need all of it, exaliburs just wont do.

How's the new blogskin?
i'm really proud of myself haha
anyway here are the credits ( just in case i get into trouble with peeps , im nice. )

Background , colour changed: flowervase.lj.com
blogskin layout, without bckgrd/pic : tammy-.blgt.com
:D GOODNIGHT! AND THANK GOD FOR HOLIDAYS! WHOO!
i love you Jesus deep down in my heart!<3

oh wait, we walked and walked but we couldnt get a studio to jam. sigh, wasted time but excercised. lol. had fun! and only 12 people came from my class today but hey, we played well for the interclass game. dint win but still.. yeah. :D
BYE!

i see LVs dangling on you and i'm wondering
if that made you or you made it .
your perfect body's out to show ,
you sure you've got clothes on ?
cause they don't look like it- rags to be exact.
i guess in this sense beggars are richer than you are counting in the fact that their clothes dont expose their skin thaat much.
maybe you're deprived and i'm starting to be sympathetic.
but wth, im just bored so i landed up with this post.LOL
okaye i'll end off , you poor poor superfical thing!

okaye, i repent.
i feel bad now, anyway if you're free :( www.celestechen.com ).
try to give her some attention too cause she's deprived.

to listen before you speak,
to understand before you react.

there's stuff that i wanna say, things of a serious note.
but yeah maybe tml. haha

WELL,
went fore D.A.R.E today.( whoo!)
it was fun i guess. my dg's darn cute esp. coach Val.
umm k.drama's fever's still on. JJH's just such a darling! :D
i reallly hope he's with Yoon EunHye! tehehehe.
changed blogskin. made one but abandoned it for this one. pretty sweeet aye?
though i really wanna replace the mary-kate and ashley thingy. heh
okaye time for bed.

SHALOM!BYE!

oh my goosehead.

i just cancelled my whole post.
WHOLE LONG POST.
so daddy, i wasnt suppose to post it huh?
hahaha

anwyay a total summary of the whole thing.
went to the science centre and cycling with my budds and got myself cut .
if you wanna see the cut you're more than welcome to (: hahha
the cut brought me joy and im doting it.
i can literally see my fats. yellow tissues. hihi!

and i bought 2 KOREAN DVDS!
am therefore broke.
FULLHOUSE !
i looooveeee Li Yeong Zhi! ( rain)
and GOONG!
i lovveeee Joo Ji HOON ! ( xin)

and i bragged about why i should be a pretty korean 22/23/24 yearold lady there.
and attract rain. whoohoo! okaye lame.

i too wanted to put their pictures on but sadly i cant!
so yeah. and i stupidly closed the whole window and poof my entry's gone.

i too talked bout how emotional and imaginitive i am.
HAHAHA my inability to differenciate reality from media.
and how the dramas sorta affected my lifestyle. (:
OH and dont watch two drama at together, you'll get mixed up.
you hear? that's from me. experienced * knodds head
and you'll sorta wish you can really visit their worlds.

hmmmmm. i think i can jolly well get rid of all my english stuffies.
i'm turning korean baby, heh.

what else?

you know, all those korean stuffies are all so lovely doveys and tragic.
i kinda wish that'll happen to me too. wierd aye but i bet you guys think of those stuff tooo!. heh after watching those shows i kinda wish i was in love.
I wanna be in love. HEH HEH.

though, i dont really mean it. i dont wanna go through another heartbreak. hahah
AH WELLS. a well summarized piece.

GOODNIGHT! GOD BLESS! SHALOM! <3
signs off,
Mrs Bi.
HAHAHAHAH

dance to this beat.

blasts the singer via my speakers..
the exams are officially over tml.
and hey, one month passed by so fast!

hmm.. now back to all the things that i want to do .

1. pen down songs
2. get more in tune with God and his word.#
3. get my butts down and excercise.
4. lose weight.#
5. watch at least 1 movie.$
6. get some new shirts.$
7. JAM and compile all the chords and lyrics aka get a band file.$
8. spent some quality time with mah pals.#
9. get maderight , made right.#
10. family time!#
10. get closer to all my grandparents and MY OWN LOVELY PARENTS!#
11. go for chalet. urhhm.$
12. get myself geared up for cambodia trip.$
13. get ready for head-start!#
14. do maths.#
15. do poa.#
16. read at least 1 shakespeare.
17. set up another blog. ( sara you know this )
18. improve my guitar skills
19. paint!
20. doodle a whole collection of collectables.
21. get artsy and go to the beinnale!#$
22. help myself to do the housework more often
23. morph into a neat girl
24. become less naggy
25. go for DARE!#
26. dare camp? $
27. room for my JUNIORS!#
28. beaching and cycling$
29. go out. stay out. NAH.$
30. study
31. watch all the korean drama that i fancy
32. people watch at orchard ( or anywhere else )
33. get some new skirt/pants/jeans$
34. get closer to jie and gor
35. respect my da yi more
36. prepare well for the prom emceeing
37. bake!
38. prepare meals
39. cheesecake for alvin and chalet peeps!
40. any other appointments from my favourite people.
41. improve my drill standard, 101% for GB.#

#- important
$- kahching
AMEN!

though i guess this isnt the real one yet aye?
people ( or at least me ) are just so fickle minded.
love/hate, a complete contradiction but so unseperatable.
it's but a thin, very thin line seperating the two.
<3

i love you jesus, forever will.
the best part's you love me too.

make me happy again , please.
this isn't me no more.




( two posts today. read the other )

know, i really do like to mug cause i feel accomplished after doing so and i do like it cause i know my brain's fuller than before. i can't really plan my time i admit but what's worst i HATE it when people try to plan my time for me or POKE into my affairs and give comments bout how i should handle things. I KNOW MYSELF BETTER THAN YOU DO. you DONT know me. you are always away! what do you know about me? you dont even care what , than why should you now?

GO on out with your friends outside , even when i'm sick all you could say was " don't fake la" and when i have terrible migrane headaches and had to stay at home " see she's always like that pon school" . WOW thanks brother, you're the BEST.
you never did said that " wei , im proud of you that you're a councillor." or " wow good you're a squad leader now " .

Who are you to say you know me when you dont even bother to ask me how my days were when i dont see you a few days in a row. Who are YOU to instruct me to do things when all you said when i got home is " go study la , best thing off the com and study. Mummy and Jie have been saying that you werent studying . OH and don't talk on the phone. "
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW?
you dint see me study. you dint see me nothing!
do you even ask me how my paper was? or whether im tired?
YOU NEVER PRAISED OR ACKNOWLEDGE ANY GOOD THAT I DID.
you keep on accusing that i have attitude problem and so on.
i must admit. i do have, but it's a rare case -unless im reeally pissed off.
Do you know you HAVE it worse than me?

" i dont like to repeat myself twice . "
that's your favourite phrase. wow, you are so cosure.

i guess you're a dude thats why you dont control your tone of voice. and i am quick to rebut. Hey, im admitting it and i know and i am asking God to change me. i've ask God to make me shut up when im angry . i',m still on it - working hard too.

thanks bro, so much so for being the BEST BROTHER IN THE WORLD.remember how i always wanted to be like you when im younger and having we the same birthday and us being 'twins' ? You dont know but maybe you dont admit it but you hurt me darn lots kaye. You dont even know it when i cried over daye nor when i'm emo over mrs lian's scoldings. See, you said you know me huh. i always try to talk to you. but it ends up in vain. This is your real sister speaking , the one who is now fifteen and no longer that sevem year old brat that you knew.

You didnt even seem keen enough to help me in my Poa. wait you're hardly even at home for me to ask and that's the reason why i gave up so many million years ago to ask you for help. even when i do you are so impatient and called me stupid.

God please help me cause this attitude is driving me absurb. and aye if your smart enough to read this thank you. and i dare say NOW you know joan your little sister a lil more now.

i shed a tear. and God you hear. (:
it's pretty traumatising to have your exams in the hall. hahah timothy's beside me. TOUFU FACE! LOL. papers have been fine i think. yeah grace and favour over me always. lord you love me. amen.